Chattanooga Hash House Harriers
Chattanooga Hash House Harriers |
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| Saturday, June 17, 2006 - The Tweaked Turkey Trail (hash #54) | |
| So I arrived at DuPont Elementary on Hixon Pike to find
Sticky Banana, Tit Wringer, Cum on Down, Love Bug 69 and The Virgin Rich in the parking
lot. We all figured that folks would be on Hash Time and we hung out on the hot pavement
and CBT explained to everybody that she was feeling much better and at about 85% so she
would be auto hashing today. By About 5:40, Tit Wringer started making a couple phone calls and got a few no answers and one "Sorry I gotta go have dinner with my future in-laws" type excuse from a pair of the usual crowd. A bit disappointed, TW explained he was preparing for knee surgery so the trail was prelaid!! What a sin! Seem he and Virgin Rich got a deal on corn meal and spent about 4 hours walking what turned out to be a great trail. But anyway, he trundled off to lay the first 100 yards and came back to join in the end of Father Abe. THe pack was off with me and Sticky on the lead for the r*nners and COD and LuvBug in the lead for the walkers - did I mention there was no one else on trail? Through a drainage ditch and then under the highway into a nature preserve with a neat frisby golf course and tons of trails. I lost Sticky for a while until I heard him coming up my rear, I mean, closing on foot, on a stretch of railroad track near the old yarn factory. left the tracks and went back into the woods across a wash and found the beer check. There was CBT and the two hares hanging out on NFN Rich's pickup with some cold Coors. SB and I had one and waited for COD and LuvBug who, it turns out, were have walking and running the long trail 'cuz they missed the split. Upon their arrival, SB and I bolted through another culvert and down the power lines, past the yarn factory again and then it got interesting. We past an old shed - while off trail - that somebody painted "Porn Shack" on the door and SB explained we had no time to check to see if there were any buried adolescents in a potato cellar beneath, then through crack town where I was sure I identified at least three meth labs and finally back into the woods. So this is how the name comes about. I had no idea turkeys could fly forty feet in the air but apparently the butterball we startled was so scared of the two hashers in it midst and it had spent so much time hangin at the aforementioned meth labs, it forgot it could not fly and took off like a Canada Goose and soared the air as only Ben Franklin could have wished the fine species could. (As you know Benny wanted the Turkey as the national bird, not the eagle but, I digress). Into another housing area dn back to start for a fine A to A. We relocated to an old fruit stand as there were a bunch of kiddies at the play ground behind the school and we figured their parents would not have cared for a rendition of the Hymen Song. We circled and drank all the beer and discussed ways to make you Wankers show at Trail 55 laid by me and Fro, who, actually showed up with the fam in tow long enough for Shiggy to suck down a brew and tell us they won their first b-ball game but he had to go try to get a Matchbox stuffed Ger-animal tampon out of the drain under his house to they could not stay. So 54 is in the books. Cum out to #55 at the Kinder Furniture Mall and
get super dirty, if you can handle it. P-Diddy will be there and a thin version of the old
Brittany Spears will be there passing out red white and blue Jello shots at the finish.
Where red white and blue to celebrate another year of independence!! Hope we get better
attendance then #54!! |
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