Chattanooga Hash House Harries - Past Hashes

Chattanooga Hash House Harriers

Sunday, May 8, 2005 - One Hot Mother

A very elite group of hashers showed up for this pickup hash. That's right, hared by Captain Fro Ranger, the list of honored guests was Shiggy Mama, Shiggy Dropping, Short & Curly and Sir Shits-A-Lot. They all arrived in one car, which was good, as it left plenty of room in the Save-A-Lot on Dayton Blvd's parking lot for the OTHER attendee, ReRun McNally. After waiting a very generous amount of time for late arrivals (with Fro, Shiggy & ReRun drinking 40's of Miller and Old English - seriously, you all missed it), Fro took off, giving himself a 7 minute head start (or was it 8? I can't remember - that Miller was good).

ReRun took off, wearing Short & Curly's Mickey Mouse watch (S&C actually told ReRun "You've just been pimped") to find Fro. Shiggy was smart - she piled the crew into the Mystery Machine and headed to the halfway.

So down the backroads of Red Bank ReRun went, with no one to help prevent him from taking a wrong turn and living up to his name. He did pretty well for a while, thanks to amazing dumb luck and a very nice woman on her front porch who said, "Are you looking for a man with a bag?" She then pointed ReRun in the correct direction and somehow he went the right way.

Here's where it went downhill. Or rather, uphill. Fro lead ReRun to the new White Oak ~~Landfill~~ Park and promptly tricked ReRun into running up a very steep and tall hill. Actually, it was ReRun who tricked himself, later thinking the bad trail marking at the foot of the hill was a "trick" because he saw a "path" where "someone" had "traveled" "up" the hill. Mmm, yeah, okay. Fro & Shiggy enjoyed watching the dummy go all the way up, then all the way back down. Later ReRun said he realized halfway up that grass was bent the wrong way for someone to have been going UP the hill, but he trekked on, saying he was never being one to believe in crop circles (just nod & smile when ReRun talks).

Much laughter was had when ReRun finally arrived to the halfway - Sir Shits-A-Lot even tricked ReRun into touching a "used" diaper. With the Old English and Miller gone the way of the recucled beer department, Fro brought out the big guns - King Cobra. Seriously, everyone missed a good time on this pickup.

The 2nd half of the run was long, but luckily it was mostly downhill. Continuing from the park through the maze where Red Bank and North Chattanooga meet, ReRun was lead up towards City High School, then past Just Tracy's house and down to the final, fantastic end spot - Las Margaritas, where pitchers of margaritas and food galore awaited those that finished.

Much fun was had by those that arrived, so next time Fro & Shiggy plan a pickup, it might be wise to clear your calendar. That is, if the next time they plan a pickup is on Mother's Day and you're a heartless bastard who'll diss their own mothers to drink malt liquor and eat Mexican food. See you next Mother's Day!