Chattanooga Hash House Harriers
Chattanooga Hash House Harriers |
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| Friday, May 5, 2006 - Cinco de Mayo | |
| The following is brought to you by ChooChooH3's very own
scribe, Hugh Heifer. We all met at some shit hole bar called the Sphincter Sport and went inside for a few brews. This was obviously an attempt to hide the hare's departures and after we all had a couple, and Just Alli had 9, we realized that it was go time and a raving rendition of Father Abraham was conducted inside the bar. We received a fine applause and off we went chasing Fro and Shiggy... ... out the bar door and across the busy street (Dayton Blvd.) we went with no regard for traffic. Up a quick hill onto the tracks and Slick Willy and I went left while the rest of the pack went right. Wrong for me and Willy - we had to catch up, and did. So as the pack all wandered about hoping to not go up hill - big hill. WRONG. Up hill it was and for quite a spell. Unfortunately for drunken Alli and Maple Queef, as they went up the wrong hill. Luckily Just Ben (who was to be named this day) knew the area a bit and shared knowledge of a trail above. I went direct for it (after having a heart attack from the hill!) and we flew threw the woods until we hit the Cinco de Mayo Tequila Check. After no one could name the US state capitals but Maple Queef (who hails from Canada, hey) we finished off a small bottle of tequila and were off to find the hares again. In the wood the entire pack became hopelessly lost when they observed a mark off a bike ramp but eventually "ON" was called and the finish was found, but not by me and my merry men. Yours truly, Just Ben, Just Willie, Just Alli and Sticky Banana were all circling the mountain with no knowledge of fine nectar above. When it was all said and done, and with the help of a 12 year old on a motor bike, we found finish and a fine cold keg of Flying Dog Tyre Bite! I was recruited to run circle as Fro had to run off (roll off) and get a light to lead us all out of finish and a whole slew of violations were tossed: FRB: Slick Willy FBI: Just Meredith (also for nerd naming) DFL: Hugh Heifer and Just Willie (none of yo' bizness what happened with us on trail) Hashit: ReRun (still for putting his truck in the ditch two trails ago). Birthdays: Luv Bug 69 - starting to show her age [and that's 30, of course -WebLoser] Naming: Just Ben is now "Sas-squat Bidet" (pronounce it just as it is spelled) Other violations: Just Alli: drunk and dancing on tables before the *un (and giving herself a second bloody gash on trail) Virgin: Just Steven - hope to see you back! Maple Queef and Slick Willy - SOT Just Willie AKA Latoya: wearing a dress ReRun, Just Ben and Chicken Ucker: wearing the same pants they painted the bedroom in Tit Wringer: having technology on trail but did not know how to use it. Just Meredith: looking saucy. |
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