| Saturday, February 9, 2008 - ChooCHooH3's ONE
HUNDREDTH HASH |
Photos are HERE. |
Quite a large pack met for the 100th running of the ChooChoo
H3 at the Chattanooga State College Parking lot. We were blessed with the appearance
of Hall Pass, an original C2H3 member I had never even met! But we were all
surprised by just one visitor: Corrigan from Music City. Also joining the pack was
the heavy set security guard from Chat State who really appeared to give less then a crap
about what we were doing (much less of a crap then when he chased Thunder Pony at a Hash
some years before as she scrambled through a hole in a fence!).
We all shared a beer or two and we all received some pretty nice shirts from Ghost Rider
(later to be officially name Haberdasherer).
So the hares were away and yours truly did his best to entertain the pack for the
necessary 12 minutes before we could give chase. We did introductions and discovered
a few other long-time-no-seers: Maple Queef, Mustard Panties and Tickle Mi Hare all were
present. Chip Off The Old Twat showed with Virgin Josh in tow and Clit Like a Puppet
brought the very well dressed Virgin Sarah. Not to be out done in the realm of dress
and deportment was Cocksicle who had on his girlfriends jeans and his best '70's attire to
bimbo the trail as he was walking as though he had spent the night in jail with a rather
large transvestite cell mate!
After a brief chalk talk, Twat Do I Smell warmed us up and we were off. I did not
realize it but everybody was just following me as though I was some sort of cult leader
with no notion that I had not a clue where I was going. I had not seen a single mark
when Fro asked where I was taking everyone as he was following marks several hundred yards
away. And we were off.
Of course, all the runners bit the very first long BT down the river and had to follow
trail back to where Maple Queef said it wasn't to discover the walkers aimlessly wandering
around looking for a check 3. This gained the attention of Ranger Smith who was
returning from a quick blow-gee from Cindy Bear and he was less then enthusiastic about
the matter until the ever so sweet yet incredibly intoxicated Gag-A-Bone felt she could
explain the whole thing as a sort of math treasure hunt and she was last as she was bad at
algebra. All the Ranger could do was threaten the chicks who were dragging the dogs
along to get out of the park so they did...the long way as trail had been discovered.
Up the side of Chickamauga Dam and into the other side of Chickamauga Park where we
discovered a Turkey Eagle split and finally a beer check. Once the pack had arrived,
we were off again and into the heavy shiggy. The hares did themselves proud with a
dew loop that took the pack up a steep hill through a housing area and back down just 100
yards from where we had exited the shiggy. Had Fro and Gag still been stuck in the
briars taking what they believed was a short cut we probably could have easily retrieved
them and saved Fro from having to carry Gag the last 100 yards or so to the next beer
check!
Come to find out the hares had been threaten by a guy with a gun as we were cutting under
153 and they had to move the beer check to just outside Farmer Fred's falling down chicken
house. The pack and the hares met and the hares were off again. Gag finished
the last of her bottle of Jager Meister and in so doing, finished off herself as well.
The pack was off again and we discovered yet another Turkey/Eagle split. Only the
most intrepid went on the Eagle trail. Mustard put on her big girl panties as did
Hall Pass, me, TiT Wringer, Twat and ReRun who was intent on being FRB of the 100th and
almost blew it at the end when he could not figure out how to go around a fence!
Hall Pass took it in the ass like a man when he got stopped by a lengthy train that parked
in his path.
Eventually, we all circled and a multitude of down-downs consumed. Apparently we
were causing quite a racket as a neighbor came over with a beer and joined us for a few.
Down-Downs went something like this:
Virgins: NFN Josh, NFN Sarah
FRB: Eagle - ReRun; Turkey - Chip of the old Twat (contested by the true walkers)
FBI: Eagle - Mustard; Turkey - CBT
DFL: Hall Pass
Visitors: Corrigan (Music City H3)
Backsliders: Gag-A-Bone (this should not even count as by this time she was passed out in
a car!), Maple Queef, Hall Pass, Mustard, Tickle-Me-Hare
Nerd Names: Shiggy Mama, Tickle Mi Hare, Maple
Gag: New Shoes (she got out of that one), Racing, Trying to nail Ranger Smith
Technology on Trail: Maple and Mustard
Running from the PoPo - Just Sarah and C.L.A.P.
And here is what you all are waiting for:
Sticky Banana as Hash Master
Yours Truly has officially been selected as RA
Hare Raiser - Twat Do I Smell (you have your work cut out for you my friend!)
WebLoser - ReRun (Eat your heart out COD)
Haberdasherer - Ghost Rider. If he does as well as he did for the 100th through the
next year we can expect good things. He even made that mashed train look kewl!
The Hash has spoken. Well at least 15 of us!
There you have it. A cunturian hash for the ChooChoo H3. Hopefully we will
last another 100! But that requires hares! Sign up with ReRun and Twat!!!!!
Come out in two weeks to discover the return of the Hashit and to here Shiggy Mama
say, "I had no idea it was his penis that had anything to do with my
pregnancies!" or Gag-A-Bone ask, "So, when is the hundredth? I was
thinking about bringing a bottle of booze."
[ChooChooH3's Religious Advisor, Hugh Heifer] |
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