The hare was Just Michael, and the victims were many.

I started out from River View Park then went through Chattanooga Golf and Country Club with a small hill.  The small hill then lead the group over to Hixson Pike.  After a short stroll down Federal the trail took an ugly turn straight up.  While touring all the hills in North Chattanooga, I decided to take a short cut down a side road that nearly led to me getting caught by the family trail.  While waiting for the family trail to pass, I was crouched behind a tree and was forced to add an unexpected hill, which ultimately led to my demise.  This unexpected delay gave the hashers the advantage and at Tucker Street they caught me.  Slick Willy and Just Davis ran me down with Capt Fro Ranger and Tit Wringer not far behind. 

With my spirits pretty well crushed I high tailed it down to Mudpie.  After drowning my sorrows in some Adult Beverages, I picked up some pointers from Fro and Slick.  Such as, “Don’t hare a hash with so many hills when you are going to get named afterwards.”  Who would have thought?  The first word that then came to my mind was…Retribution.

So heeding the advice of my fellow hashers, the second half was a lot less vertically challenged.  The hashers crossed Vet Bridge while the family trail cut across Walnut.   I went down Battery Place and cut through UTC to make my way back downtown.  Zigzagging through the streets of downtown, the hashers made their way to Ross’s Landing where the true misery began for me at Circle.

As we turned to new business, I was sent across the street for the first part of the naming ceremony.  Butterflies filled my stomach as I sat there anticipating my fate.   Even over the traffic I could still here the laughter at the Down-Down.  That’s when I knew I was in trouble.  Back in the Circle, I think I got blessed a little extra from the RA because of all the hills.  And while I was down on my knees I was reborn again as “Sticky Banana”.  Those that attended my first hash only gave me a small hint as to the origins of my new name but all that I’ll admit that I was sold down the river.